Feeling stuck or at a dead end?


Often, through life, you get to a point where you feel stuck. Whether it is in a personal or professional relationship, a job, or the place where you live, you do reach a dead end at times. I don’t know about you, but there were times in my life where I thought: this is it; I am done. Sometimes it was a great feeling to “be done” and move on; at other times I was certain that I was stuck, but had no idea where to do! Let alone where to go!

Therefore, the question is: what do you do? Can you unstuck yourself, change direction or must you accept and make the best of it? I think it all depends on which area in your life feels like a dead end. When you are, for example, in a romantic relationship, that is going nowhere, then it is a good idea to consider cutting the chords and moving on. There is no point in staying in a relationship with a person that doesn’t want the same things in life as you (whether it be marriage or children). It is not always easy to cut the chords, so to speak; especially if it has been a long-term relationship. However, you must sit down, ask hard questions and then make a list of the pros and cons of staying or going.

When you feel that you have reached a dead end in the workplace, things might not be so easy to change; unless of course you have options. For many people it is not easy to just leave a job where they don’t feel happy or noticed anymore. For others it is difficult to leave because they simply don’t like change. The best advice that I heard from a YouTuber called Anna Bey, is that you should always have a Plan B in life, regardless whether you are in a happy relationship, job or living in your dream space. Life is unpredictable and, as the saying goes, the only constant in life is change.

Having a Plan B also helps you to feel more in control over your life and makes you more independent. Gone are the days when women cannot be financially independent. In a relationship or marriage, a Plan B is important, as anything can happen – divorce, death, separation, illness, and so forth. When you feel stuck in your job, start to look for something else, but stay where you are until you nailed the other job. If you want to work from home, for example, Anna suggests that you start doing it on the side-line, in your spare time. Once it is bringing in enough money for you to leave your “9 – 5-job,” then you can quit. Of course, it is always easier to do this if you have someone who is financially strong, and it wouldn’t make a difference to your relationship or household whether or not you also bring home a pay check for a while or not.

What else can you do besides a Plan B? Especially if you are stuck and, at the moment, there is no way out? Breathe and meditate would be my tips. When you feel stuck, you become angry, frustrated, short-tempered and unhappy; even depressed. Stop your negative thoughts that clog your mind and keeps you up all night. Take a deep breathe in, saying to yourself that you are inhaling peace, and when you exhale, say to yourself, you are exhaling frustration (or whatever you feel). Then quiet your mind, either by focusing on nature or by listening to calm, relaxing music, and visualize what changes you want. Your brain is an extremely powerful organ that can help you to get to where you want to be, just by creating a balance between your mind and heart. When your heart is not in something, then you don’t give your best, nor do you feel you want to carry on. Therefore, it is vital that, when you feel stuck, that you sit down, take deep breathes, close your eyes and just relax.

When you breathe deeply, your whole body will start to relax and the tension in your muscles will start to subside. Then, when your mind is quiet, can you get in touch with your inner thoughts, your inner self and, by listening to your heart and not just your head, decide what is best for you.

Personally, I have been in different work situations where I didn’t get along with the boss, but I had to “stick it out” until I got something else. It was difficult, but every day, before I walked in, I took a few deep breathes in and out, sent blessings and hoped for the best! The most difficult part, for me, was to send blessings. Why? Because I couldn’t understand why I should bless someone who is nasty…crazy hey?! As I did it more and more, I realized that the reason my mom always says send blessings, is because the nasty boss, for example, also has Divinity inside of her / him. It is their ego that is in overdrive, so to speak.

So, dear readers, just a few tips coming from personal experience in today’s blog post. We have all heard many sayings about life so I am not going to go into that. All I want you to know is that you can change your life, your circumstances, your relationships, your job, if you want to. “If you want to change the outside, you must change the inside” – one of my mom’s favourite quotes. Basically, it says that anything is possible if you follow not just your head but also your heart. Some people find change difficult and must first be pushed into a corner, before changing. Others like change, want it, make it happen and grab it with both hands.
Making changes can be scary at first, but if it is going to make you happier and if it is something that speaks to your heart and mind, I say go for it! Life is not a destination; it is a journey and we are all here to grow spiritually and to learn. What better way to grow and to learn, than making changes in our lives…?